How is your life??

I hope you guys don't mind if I share with you guys some thoughts. If you are member of BFLS. You may have seen one of these post where I wrote like a summary of my entire life and how I was feeling. And it's funny because... Even though this MEP group doesn't have any MEPs out. I just feel slightly more comfortable then I do in BFLS. maybe because it's smaller and we all have developed into a small family.. So here goes how my life has been so far.

I wanna let you guys know that in my uni I've been mixing with the wrong people over the semester.... But guys. I've been feeling really bad over so many things going on with my life that literally. One day I was just sitting in my bed and couldn't stop thinking of the bad stuff that was going on with me. Until something inside of me, a spark literally said "ENOUGH!". And that's when I wanted to stop being sad, unhappy, all forms of negativity. and Basically turned the tides. I went outside which had an incredible sunset. And Sunsets are my favorite time of the day. I went walking to a supermarket and bought my favorite drink "Rockstar Punched" (yup I like energy drinks) and finally went to the road bridge of my area. With the sun set, the cars passing by under me, and listening to Sleeping With Sirens first record wtih my can of Rockstar. I was discovering me all over again. and what makes.... me. It was definetly the first step foward. But I still decided to lay low from society because... If some of you guys don't know, I de-activated my facebook which seems to be the oddest thing in modern day because "who would de-activate there FB? It's like standard way of living" Well I felt stressed with the way how I was that I decided that I can't allow people to see how I am and filling empty promises like trying to visit them which is something I just cant. And guys... In facebook I think we can all agree that they are some people in our "friend list" that are actually bad in reality. And having those people also seeing the way I am and probably enjoying it was too much. And yet these days I'm now a tumblr hollic and I met great people, learned great stories and quotes from them.... in other words: orlex.tumblr.com/post/1406959380

It inspired my Tumblr page, now I'm into tumblr more than ever. And I've been blogging more positive notes and encouraging ones. One of my heroes is Austin Carlile. The frontman of my favorite band, Of Mice & Men, I blog so much about him and the band that it makes me feel happy. And the influence they spread has saved me. Not from suicide, but.... from some one that could've hurt me in the worst pain possible... Myself.

I want to be happy. And being in Tumblr blogging about music and supporting peoples lifes and stories, editing amazing videos with guys like you, and going out with people outside my uni. Those are steps where I can breath fresh air that is polluted with positive energy. I feel strong to the extent that I can now be happy. But there is a huge obstacle that will block my complete freedom and joy. And until that obstacle moves out of the way. I will be again happy.

The last thing I wanna say is "bullying". It's not a nice word... But I've been bullied by some people who have labelled me as "wierd" or a "freak". Even one guy who I thought was my friend backstabbed me and he broke our friendship. It destroyed me. And I was really sad when I thougth there was something wrong with me... I was trying to be me you know? But I realized. that the true friends I met in Uni cured me for accepting me the way I am. And I love them so much... And mostly the music I listen to, the artist behind the art, I felt that no matter what, They'll tell me be yourself. You're beautiful the way you are. And I was convinced there was nothing wrong... But the guy who betrayed me still thought I was wierd. I didn't give a f**k. I showed him, that I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I'm not. And trust me, if he thinks he's perfect he's not. He may call me a freak, but better be a freak then being someone who slaps woman. WHO THE f**k SLAPS A GIRL? Listen to me guys, I've made many lady friends because they like me and I'm kind, gentle and honest with them. More Female friends then male friends tbh. BUT I'D NEVER SLAP A WOMAN EVER. Why? because a woman has brought us all to this world. And a great teacher by the name of Tupac showed that to me. So I learned that the ones who were trying to bring me down aren't as perfect as they think they are. And come on, we're all different. Like my name is JasonGuitarHand, and the admins name is AsterousNinja. Should I call Asterous a freak just because she has a different name? or because... She's different? No, that's wrong. I have the power to accept people for who they are, race, sexual prefference, religious view... Because in the end, we're all humans.

Through mutual friends I was able to make friends outside of the uni. and guys they are super awesome and they love me the way I am. Which made me feel that maybe friends outside of an education center maybe better then in. Because they will see a different side of you from day one. And trust me that happens. A LOT! I made new friends today after we watched a big football match, Chelsea VS Bayern Munich btw. and we got on so well that one friend has invited me to a party in two weeks time. I'm stoked because it'll be my first one in a year now!

So what can I say that I learned so far. You can achieve happiness from the darkest moments. Infact I just came up with a quote that you guys may wanna here, it goes: "no matter how black is the night, the dawn will always bring you the brightest of the lights". Not too shabby. But I learned also to accept myself. and I learned I have the power to make my life the way I want it to be... How?

Simply because of this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHRNSeuvzlM

So dream on until our dreams come true. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I'm alive as we speak... Thank you guys for reading this. Seriously from the bottom of my heart: 31.media.tumblr.com/4703f008e65851870850c1f9796af669/tumblr_mkxvd6PuSw1r7qi91o1_500.gif (I Love You)

Dream On, Until they come true.

- Jason

jasonguitarhand:- Oh my gosh Jason... that made me shed a tear! D: I am sorry that you went through that, but I am glad that you are feeling like YOU again. I used to be bullied actually because of my religious views, being a Buddhist at my school is not easy, seeing as you're the only one in the whole school... people telling you that Buddha isn't real, Buddha isn't gonna save you...
This kid in my year has been bullying a friend of mine, he is called Ricky, Ricky is from the Philippines, this kid bullies Ricky because he is Asian, but the only problem is, he can say all this s**t and then as soon as we comment on this kid (who is ginger btw) about his hair, he goes ape s**t! He has also being bullying me... saying I take drugs because I am the palest person at school, well, it isn't my fault that I don't like the outdoors, I always feel sick when I am outside... I even wore a hoodie in the boiling weather because I felt ill and everyone called me a 'vampire', well I don't care anymore if I am a vampire or not... because I am me...
I told this ginger kid about something I swear I wish I hadn't... but it was a possibility of having BC (breast cancer), but I found out it was only growing things so I was ok, but there is a high possibility because of it skipping my mum's generation and landing on mine... now, if this ginger kid says or bullies me about that, me and my friends are all going to set him straight, because even everyone who may not exactly be my friend, knows that isn't right! So if he ever does... he will have a lot of people to shout at, but he does have a very, very mouth...
I was surprised when one day my best friend Ricky just sat down with me at the Cafeteria and he just started to cry because of this ginger kid bullying him, saying racist things to him, I was surprised at everyone's reaction to this, I have never seen Ricky cry EVER! So I knew instantly this was serious s**t! So I told him that I would help him talk with this kid, a couple of my friends joined on and we went onto our school field and we tried to sort it out. And the ginger kid didn't apologize even if we shouted at him the whole lunch... Ricky had apologized for the accusations this ginger kid had put on Ricky, but the ginger kid doesn't say sorry at all... we all hate him now!
I have this thing when I am angry or feel like lashing out, I will cross my arms and if something bugs me, I will dig my fingers into my arms, to hold in the shouting. Molly (one of my best friends) said she was surprised I hadn't hit him, but I told her about the arms things and she understood it.
I just hate this kid... so if he continues his bullying, I will take action this time, whether I get a detention or not! It is to help my friend! It is to give this kid a criminal record for Racism... even though he already has one!
I am surprised he is even in this school, an INTERNATIONAL school, if he has a criminal record for Racism... just stupid...
So, I go back on the 3rd of September, so yeah... if I end up in any classes with the ginger kid, I will ask to move sets, even if I end up in the bottom set, with all the people who can't write properly... I will move! I am not sitting near him, or in vocal reach of him.
I remember, last week of school, we had to work in groups, he knew I wanted to work with Carita (one of my friends), I even say her name to ask her, but this ginger git decides to steal her from me, knowing she was the only person I liked in that activity group... so I was alone taking pictures of trees and having to draw them... alone...

So I hate him so much!!!!! D:<

YOU GUYS!! Group Hug!!! There may come a day where i can share my stories like this (im a chicken about it still but im getting better about it) You guys are so brave and i support you guys completely and look up to you guys for sharing!

I will reply to this as soon as possible to every one of you. But for the moment. Group Hug! A Lo Tumblr! media.tumblr.com/2e68a3171b52c78d36ce05f3a24fad4f/tumblr_inline_msdhip56sd1qz4rgp.gif

Haha the diapers XD

@asterous, Ginger guy? why does this feel like a copy paste of a certain situation I had... Let me tell you guys of one guy who is the definition of a Joker... This Pakistan guy who has been bullying ME since day one. When we first met I try to be pollite and try to be his friend. But he through it away, and I was like "oh well..." but this guy has been trying to make me feel bad no matter what. What do I mean? Guys... this dude has been insulting me behind my back. Especially one time when I was gonna go back home. He looked at me from a distance, and he gave me this grin and a thumbs up? I was like WTF? Then I found out he went towards someone who is actually a popular guy, the type of guy who he would try and suck it for him just to get popularity... I found out behind my back he called me "a f**king wierdo".

But after treating me like s**t, the best revenge is to be succesfull. This is key guys, because as long as you are being succesful and people love you the way you are. That's the best revenge. What happend was in our finals, he was sitting in front of me. And this is a guy who doesn't study mind you. Me? the opposite... I studied my ass off and while I was answering those questions like a boss. The guy was trying to get help from others behind the teachers back... and in the final 5 minutes. I was just gonna write the last sentence of my exam. and he turns around and ask me for help. I didn't help him of course... But I laughed so hard behind his back in my mind. I laughed at the fact that this guy who brought me down, who bullies me and treats me like a punching bag went so low to ask for my help. I guess this guy will sell himself for anything. Hell he allows the popular kids to call him Paki, which in London Paki is the worst thing you can call to a Pakistani person. But how he allows people to call him that is beyond me.... There is so many other things i can tell you about this guy, and what he does. He treats me like s**t asked me wired questions like trying to bring me down if I had abs. And no, I don't have abs. No shame here however for not being a Hunk.

When I told the odd questions to three of my lady friends. they told me he could be gay. and I believe so, since he isn't an asshole but a bitch. A real bitch. And you think he got popularity? I don't think so. One time one of my best friends who is african. I was in the depressions state of spring... And I was in a fragile state in her shoulders. And when we talk. She told me that people in Parkview which is a dorm of my Uni and is populated mostly with kids who love drama and s**t. They tell me they laugh behind his back. So that's what happens with this fool...

Do I care? I don't give a damn. Like I said I'm moving foward where he is retaking ALL FOUNDATION CLASSES. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT? I know, an idiot.

Anyway screw him. Asterous. This is just messed up that a guy is bullying a girl. Reminds me of the guy I told you who slaped a girl. Don't you think this guy may have the chance of being gay? Because I've seen in the past where guys bully girls mostly because they are gay. And what the hell does religion have to do anyway? You have to judge the person as whole not by religion. What happens if a christian hates an amazing person because that person is an atheist? That's stupid. If he comes up to you, Just go up to him and say. Stop It, just say it once. and If he continues. Tell it to the teacher, And trust me, Teachers will go bezerk when it comes to bullying. But again, the best revenge is to be succesful. You've got your friends to stick up by you. "Divided you'll fall, United you'll Rise" If you guys can make it clear to this guy to stop, he'll have no choice.

Anyway, don't focus on him. You've got a new semester. a new dawn. Now let me write you a letter to submit, for everybody actually.

"DearPast, Thanks for all the lessons.
Dear Future, I'm ready to go."
- AsterousNinja

You guys can talk to me about anything. I care about you guys so much. That's now joke. No Joke at all.

And last... these two songs. I think we can relate too...

This is one I listened to when I felt so alone in xmas... www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Jae7G6OAc3Y

and this, to the ones who bullies you and all of us, and think their revoluiton is something.... www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4rywEXTMUU

stay safe,

- Jason